Too Braun-y for MLB

Say what you will about Ryan Braun's positive test for PEDs. Perhaps he's guilty of wilfully ingesting an illegal steroid or steroid-like compound, and maybe he's not. The fact that a second, independent test came back negative should cast some doubt upon either the first test or the testing process in its entirety. Reasonability dictates that readers at least consider the later--that MLB drug testing isn't as fool-proof as previously believed. That's right, even in an era of genetic manipulation, interplanetary space exploration, and cable television programs specifically dedicated to the scientific dissection of sport as a physical construct, yes, science can sometimes fail. How?

Well, it should be noted, that science itself is not responsible for the failings at hand, not in the intellectual sense. Rather, the real failing is that of execution. Scientific endeavors are not always executed with the infallibility that would make most of us completely comfortable.

Supplements are not governed by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), because supplements, by definition, are neither a food nor a drug. Supplements exist in a nebulous quasi-regulated gray area, one that can skirt the law by leaning on such phrases as "natural", "healthy" and "proprietary blend"--terms designed to make consumers feel as though they have the upper hand in determining the course of their personal health. This is a lie.

In reality, numerous supplement companies have confessed to adding some very un-natural substances to their product lines in order to increase their potency, essentially adding actual steroids to mere "vitamins" to make the steroid-like effects seem as authentic as the real thing. They seem as real because, well, they are real. Oh, that's right, it's possible for the scientists that try to keep MLB clean to be duped by the scientists that are employed by fly-by-night supplement companies in an effort to make money, even at the expense of the general consumer.

Could something along these lines have happened to Ryan Braun? Well, we've been forcefed this excuse a million times before and almost always unsuccessfully so. That being said, it's unlikely that Braun's excuse, even in light of the clean re-test administered two weeks after the initial positive one, will be enough to exonerate him. This goes beyond the court of MLB. there's the court of public opinion, and there, well, it's guilty until proven "we don't care".

CSI (Crazy Signing Indictment) Miami

Okay, so now everyone’s a $100 million player, even someone like Jose Reyes. That’s, well, just great. It used to be that a player needed to be able to do things, important things like stay healthy, before he was awarded $100 million (Chipper Jones notwithstanding). Then along came the remodeled Miami Marlins with nothing but imaginary money to spend and, voila, a “dream” left side off the infield is born. Along with Hanley Ramirez (likely shifting to 3B), the Marlins boast seven All-Star seasons and two National League batting titles on the same side of their projected infield. That sounds pretty damn special, but there could be more to the story. There is more to the story.

Alas, that dream may end up turning into a nightmare for the most obvious reason---health.  Combined, Ramirez and Reyes played in just 67% of their total possible games, largely due to injuries. In Ramirez’s case, some of those bumps and bruises were to the ego, but that’s neither here nor there, right? Yah, in this day and age, health and attitude hardly ever play a role in on-field production. Ugh.

For Reyes, gifted though he may be at the plate and on the bases, there has to be concern over his ability to stay healthy. Since 2008, he’s only played in 295 of a possible 486 games (less than 61%), and that stat, more than the batting title or all the stolen bases really should have guided teams in their free agent pursuit. To be fair, it probably did. It’s not like there’s a glut of shortstop talent in the big leagues these days.  In fact, an (easy) argument could be made that it’s the thinnest position in all of MLB entering 2012. Yet, with virtually every team in need of an offensive-minded shortstop, there were only a handful of teams delusional enough to even begin negotiations with Reyes.

But does any of that matter with the revamped Marlins? Apparently not. The fish, it would seem, are intent on making a splash in 2012 (despicable pun intended). Already having overpaid Heath Bell ($27 million over three years), what was another $106 million to Reyes? Based on his last three seasons with the Mets, the Marlins are (over)paying Reyes for 972 possible games and if they get 592 from him, well, everyone told you so. He’s missed 39% of all games over the past three seasons and that matter is not being disputed. Isn’t that right counselor?

Look, if there’s a way to suggest that Reyes is likely to outperform his contract, feel free to make the case. The truth it, it’s really hard to imagine anyone stepping up to make such an inflammatory assertion in a public forum, much less the court of law that is the internet. Alas, if there is such a brave soul, come out, come out wherever you are…

Twins Showing Interest in Chris Capuano

For the sake of the team, that interest better be tepid, at best. This is a player that the pitching-starved Mets are going to let walk away because of his demands for a 2-year contract. By the way, how great is it that a pitcher with a 57-64 career record and 4.39 ERA (97 ERA+) is making contract demands? Welcome to the market wherein C.J. Wilson is the best available pitcher [sigh]. In a pitching desert, the Twins have somehow convinced themselves that Capuano will lead them to water. Alas, Capuano couldn't find water in a land with 10,000 lakes--not in the pitching sense anyway.

This is also the same team that just gave Jamey Carroll a 2-year deal for his age 39 and 40 seasons. That'll fix that last place club right up; won't it? If you happen to detect a bit of sarcasm (along with some bile and rage) it's because Jamey Carroll is not the answer to the Twins problems. He's not the answer because Carroll just isn't good at doing the things that the Twins desperately need, namely someone that can play baseball. Carroll's minor league coaches knew this.  In fact, it's the reason why he didn't get a Major League call-up until he was already 28. Had he been good enough, he would have made it to the bigs sooner, right?

Rather than bemoan the fact that Carroll will be in Minnesota for the next two seasons, perhaps it's time to celebrate the move for what it really is--the return of Nick Punto. Oh how the Twins have missed their plucky, little mascot. Now, with Carroll, Twins fans can usher in a return to mediocrity, if they can even make it that far. It was, after all, quite a fall from grace in 2011. It's just hard to imagine any universe in which Chris Capuano and Jamey Carroll are going to right the ship.